Hard Thoughts

I did not serve. It seems it is my main task not to serve just wait for nothing. I visited some of my favorite place and I saw that there was an auction today. Of course, I did not participate. I did not have fun. I did not meet my Owner. I did not have sex with anybody as it was forbidden by my offline Owner.

I am one month old and I did not feel so excited as I had felt month ago. Let me summarize my first month from point of view slavery. I had six Owners or Owner candidates or want-to-be-owners. Does it sound good? No, not really. In fact I felt like a slave twice. Bela was my first Owner and he is my best friend, now. I enjoyed serving him very much. We are in the same time zone, we met every day of my servitude and he used me. The second my real Owner is a person from the USA. We can meet only on weekends. Do you remember him? I wrote about a massage I had given him.

I think the others just wanted to feel a moment of joy when I became their slave. It is not so fun to have an always offline Owner or an Owner who is online but not interested in my service.

I was in the auction only once, but it lives in my mind as shame not as an exciting event. I remember bidders who do not want to buy a slave.

I want to serve. I want to be controlled. I want to feel a dominant mind ruling me. I hate to be online alone, I hate it even more if my Owner does not care me and I am not allowed to have sex with others.

I gathered experience at least. I realized that I had a hidden limit. I do not want to be unused all the time during my servitude. Sometimes, I had bad feeling with some of my new Owners. I felt that they did not know what to do with me. It seemed that it was a duty to control me and not a joy. I do not want special care, I would be happy to serve the way my Owner likes. In fact it is what I like. I would like to discover different way of serving. I would like to make my Owner happy. However, it is difficult if I have offline Owners.

I am Owned till Thursday. I feel that I will have not much fun to Friday. I feel he will be mostly offline.

There is my future Owner. I will serve you from Friday. He seems to be a good person who is interested in my servitude. It will be my last try as a freelancer slave. I found some auction halls which work in my time zone and sell slaves not only in theory but in practice, too. If I fail again then I will offer my service in auctions. Maybe if somebody pays for me then he or she will use me and will not keep me in reserve only.

I have not given up, yet.