Trust

While Natasja and I were closed in the cage, we were talking. She was on the Black Hole Journey, on the seventh level. She was with Arta to complete one of the tasks of this level. I asked her how long she had been serving my Mistress. The answer was for two or three days. We could not talk much, as my Mistress or our Mistress returned and we went to the shop to explain how the door worked.

Trust is very important in any relationship. It is especially true for BDSM relationship. The slave or the submissive gives up all control under her mind or body. She accepts that the Owner's will and pleasure is the most important. In SL slaves do not feel pain under whipping or in the stockings. It is better to say not such pain as they can feel in RL. But, most of the slaves feel something similar to pain. The situation differs in case of mind control. There is no remarkable difference if you serve with your soul.

You probably know that I am straight. I have not changed; I remained straight. I am with my Mistress, because I love to serve and I love the feeling to be dominated. You could remark that the accent in our relationship is not on sexual acts, but on the domination. While I am serving her, I feel everything, behind Nia, too. It is so wonderful.

Sometimes, I hate it. Sometimes, I feel bad. But, in most of the time we spend together, I am happy and I love to serve her. Oh, and do not forger that slaves must feel some discomfort sometimes. It is interesting that sometimes I feel bad and I want to cry despaired. But, some time later, I am proud that I served for her pleasure. I feel proud that I did it.

I never lie. I hate it. I do not tell the truth only when I ordered to do it. For example, when we are in public place, I have to agree with my Mistress every time, without exception.

I know that my role is easier than Arta's one. I do not know how to tell her if I dislike something. In fact, I am usually not sure if I have to tell it. It is not because of her. She is caring Mistress. It is because of me. I want to expand my limits and sometimes it causes me to feel bad. You can say that it is fuzzy. Yes, it is. But, being a slave is almost an interesting feeling, is not it.

So, I got to know that my Mistress spent two or three days with her new slave. It hurts me. Am I jealous? No, I do not think so. I served with others. There was some kind of competition among us, but that is all right. It is not very comfortable for slaves. That is true, but it does not count. Every slave accepts such competition.

What is really hurt, that Arta was with her and she did not tell anything about it. I do not ask my Owners to report about their activities. They have right not to say anything. It would be easier to know that my Owner with other slave, while I am sent to discover new houses or new places. Maybe, it would hurt me. But, I could survive it. All this time, I supposed that my Mistress was busy with her work. It is what really hurt me.

I do not want you to think that Arta is bad Mistress. No, she is one of the best Mistresses. I just feel confused now. I hope that time will help me.

My feelings are mixed, now. But, I am satisfied with my fate serving Arta. I can admit that if I had to choose a Mistress then I would be Arta's slave again.

Sorry for this post. I know some of you like actions in this blog. However, I felt that I had to describe my feeling, dominating my mind at this time.